I Don't Smoke...But I Do Read PerezHilton.com

I have noticed lately that a lot of my fellow employees are smokers.

How can I tell? Yellowed teeth? Check. Reeking of smoke? Check. Vacant from the office at inopportune times? Check and check.

For real, it doesn't bother me that my co-workers smoke. It's their prerogative and their addiction to face. But should their guilty pleasure come with 5 minutes away from the office throughout the day? Because that my friends, those 5 little minutes, make me jealous. And have on occasion made me want to start puffing (but cigarettes are expensive and I am poor).

Those 5 minutes are literally written into our company handbook. Something along the lines of all "employees are allowed five (5) minute cigarette breaks during the work day". Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. So they probably are really only allotted two breaks per day and they have to be speedy quick. But again, I'm jealous. Very jealous in fact. Leading me to make my next statement. I feel it's somewhat unfair.

Just because I don't choose to fill my lungs with smoke a few times throughout the day doesn't mean that I shouldn't have a break for my own addiction/guilty pleasure. Yes, I think you all know where I'm going with this. Instead of getting a smoking break, I would like to institute company-wide Perez Hilton breaks. Or People.com. Or Pink is the New Blog. Whatever your Internet addiction, I think we non-smokers deserve our own little daily breaks.

I'll admit it. I have an addiction and it's to trashy celebrity gossip in the form of little nuggets of information that Perez Hilton dispenses (almost) on the hour. I keep my hand on the mouse to refresh almost every second of the day. It's pathetic and sad, but I own up to my disease.

Ultimately, I think it's the fair thing to do employers of the world. We gossip blog addicts should get our junkie on with just a little bit of silence just like our fellow smokers.