Captivate Network Should Pay Me to Write This Post

Every day, I walk into work and wait at the bank of elevators downstairs to take me up to floor 9 where I will begin my work day. 

Every day, I wait and pray and pray with all my might that I won't get the one elevator without Captivate Network inside its doors. Captivate Network, if you're listening, I would love if you would pay me for this endorsement. I love your product. If I owned a building, I would put you in all my elevators. But since I am poor and own no buildings (come on now, you all know I barely own food), I cannot buy you. But I will enjoy you to your fullest. 

Quick explanation for those of you without Captivate. Some elevators in this world are privileged. This means that their owners went out and decided, "Hey, we'd really love to give those who ride our elevators day in and out a treat." So they called Captivate Network and had tiny televisions installed in each elevator. And voila! Now we have little TV's to help us avoid awkwardly talking to people we don't know on our way down to grab a sandwich at lunch time. 

I know some of these tiny TV's can be actual TV's with newsfeed from CNN or whatever, but I think I prefer this more. See these little TV's give us tiny snippets of information that leave us wanting more. For example, I found out today that Alyssa Milano is engaged. How did I find out? From Captivate Network's gossip news! I also found out that it's going to snow Friday (boo!), that unemployment is way up (duh), and that some sports team beat another sports team at some sport (yea, sorry, I could care less). 

Point being, this little TV brings me immense joy in the middle of a boring day or a hectic day or just a day when I need to know the weather and my Internet is down because I kicked some wires under my desk taking out my Internet with my swift karate kicks and thought that the whole server was down and went complaining to anyone who would listen that the server was down when it wasn't (true story). 

As I mentioned above, there is one lone elevator in my building that does not have a tiny TV with Captivate Network. And everyone avoids this car like the plague. Including myself. Sorry elevator, I don't know why but you weren't cool enough to have a tiny TV and therefore are a loser elevator. 

So in short, I have somehow become addicted to a tiny TV in an elevator at work. And the fact that I'm even writing this down makes me pathetic.

That is all.