Feeling a bit like a home-schooled jungle freak

These days, I can totally relate to Cady Heron in Mean Girls. You know, when she’s brand new to her school and feels totally awkward. Certainly not when she gets all skankalicious and Regina George-like.

When it comes to my job, I’m the new kid in school. Though I haven’t had to eat my lunch in a bathroom stall (thank goodness), I have felt awkward more than a few times. I knew when I started that it would take awhile to fit in and find my niche. In fact, they say it takes six months to really feel settled. One down. Five more to go. Yikes.

But with this job, my transition seems to be a bit more hostile than I expected. The reason? My company does the majority of their hiring from within. So when they hire someone from the outside, it sometimes ruffles a few feathers. And with my particular position, a lot of inside people really wanted it.

When I found that out, I was really proud of myself. Until my coworker informed me that the internal people who interviewed for my job were NOT happy they chose an outsider. I went from feeling elated to deflated in about a microsecond.

And she wasn’t kidding. There is literally a group of people, who seem to always travel in a giant pack, that wanted my job. And every time I see them, I feel so uncomfortable. Not that we’ve ever actually met. They just like to stare at me. Last week when I was brainstorming with coworkers in the cafeteria, the group came in and sat at a table not far from me. After a few minutes, they all turned and stared at me. Just stared. It was bizarre. It only lasted a second, but it was enough to set my cheeks ablaze and make me squirm with nerves.

Unfortunately, they’re not the only ones. There’s this one girl I’ve been in a lot of meetings with lately and I swear, when I’m looking the other way, I can feel her eyes fixed on me, sending razor sharp mental daggers my way. I’ve tried to ignore it, chalking it up to an unfriendly personality. Until yesterday. That’s when I found out that she wanted my job. A lot. And she was not happy that she didn’t get it.

It’s so awkward. And yes, if the roles were reversed, I might be frustrated, too. But I certainly wouldn’t be shooting daggers. I’m not that type of girl. Luckily I get along really well with everyone on my team. They tell me to brush off the stares, which I do. I just hate confrontation. And as much as I don’t want to admit it, I really hate when people don’t like me. Especially if it’s for a dumb reason.

I’m extremely appreciative that I got the job. I love it so far, and I feel so lucky that they chose me. So for now, I’m just going to focus on enjoying the ride and try to ignore their long, lingering looks. They’ll get over it eventually. And in the immortal words of the random crying girl from Mean Girls, “I wish I could bake a cake full of rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.” That would be lovely.