Mom's Influence

I've been thinking a lot lately about motherhood and being a Working Girl ... especially because it's all hitting home for me right now. Yes, ladies, I'm expecting my first baby, a girl, in February!

So this whole idea, well, I guess reality now, of being a mom has made me wonder about my expectations for myself as a Working Girl and for my new little one. I guess let's start with my own mom.

My mom was not much of a Working Girl. I don't think she liked the idea much. She graduated from college with a degree in Zoology. What the heck are you supposed to do with that?? Then she decided to go into Nursing and dropped out within a year. Next she got a Teaching license and taught elementary school for a couple years. Then she just quit working altogether and decided to be a homemaker. She hasn't stepped into the working world since, let's see, it's been about 20 years??

So growing up, I didn't really have big dreams of becoming a career girl. It just didn't occur to me. I thought I'd just go to college because it was what good kids did and then who knows what after that. Luckily, I took that Intro to Advertising class and found my passion in the Communication field and now I am very, very happy with my career as a PR Working Girl. I think it really surprises my mom that I work. When I told her we were expecting a baby, I think I saw her breathe a huge sigh of relief because she thought I'd never have kids and work forever. Of course I wanted children, but I wanted to establish a career first!

Since I started my own business (PR and editorial) in March and work from home, I think this gives me the ideal environment for still continuing to keep my foot in the working world while also caring for my new family. At least that's the plan. While I wish my mom gave me more of an example of ambition as far as career and working goes, I do admire her for staying home and always being there when my three younger sisters or I needed her. We had a home cooked family dinner around the kitchen table every night, lovingly packed lunches, lots of baked goods on the counter to snack on, a clean house, etc.

But what about for my little girl? (omg, I'm going to be a MOM! It's still sinking in.) Will I push her to be a Working Girl, or not? What will she take from my example? Do I want her to be a Working Girl?

I question that last one because I recently read an interesting article on Forbes Blogs, "Twenty-Something Men Want Housewives to Cheat On." I know, strong title. The gist is that young men these days apparently don't want to marry a Working Girl. They want to marry women like my mom who want to stay home and be housewives and homemakers. But why? The article suggests that it's possibly because they were raised by the generation of moms who felt like they needed to be superwomen, balancing demanding careers and a family and that these young men maybe feel like they didn't have good moms because they were so stressed all the time or just weren't there for them, or maybe they saw the relationship between their mom and dad and felt the relationship was always strained? That perhaps "having it all" had a negative effect on the kids. And then, the cheating part comes in because these young men also don't like the idea of monogamy too much, either. Great.

I don't really know yet if I'm staying a Working Girl because of me, because it's what I love to do and it's such a big part of me, or staying a Working Girl for my daughter to set a good example. And by good example, I hope that means she sees I am happy doing what I love, not necessarily trying to achieve superwoman status. Hm. So much to think about. Sorry this post is kind of a jumble of thoughts. Would love to hear yours.