Reason #328 Why I Can't Stand My Job

The CEO, The Boss and The President of my company are the kings and queens of ridiculous e-mails. Emoticons, swearing, and requests that make you want to throw yourself out of the window - these are the kinds of things I look forward on a day-to-day basis when I open up my Outlook at work. 

Without further adieu I would love to provide a few examples of things that give me headaches and make me want to throw my computer out of our 20-story building. 

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To: WG2

From: The President

Subject: The poster in the foyer...

Seems to be uneven....not sure if the tripod is set up correctly. If you have a chance to check and adjust that would be great. If it is going to be there until August, we may as well have it looking good :) 

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To: The Entire Company

From: The CEO

Subject: MEN'S ROOM WINDOW

I love having to do these types of e-mails...such granular stuff...but here it is...the men's room window is a drama to make work right. Please leave it CLOSED and do not, repeat, do not make any adjustments to the window. It looks bad, is hard to get back into place and frankly does no good to open. So thems the rules. Anyone caught breaking the rules will have to pee in their pants from now on. 

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To: WG2

From: The Boss

Subject: lunch

Could you please get me lunch from Cosi: a signature salad w/ extra pistachios and low-fat sherry vinagrette (on the side only) with whole wheat bread. Don't forget a fork from the kitchen and napkins. Thanks. 

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To: The Boss

From: WG2

Subject: 2008 events calendar

To access Google calendar you need to log into your Gmail account and then in the upper left hand corner will be a link that says "calendar". Click on this and all the events that I have created will show up. 

To: WG2

From: The Boss

Subject: RE: 2008 events calendar

Mmmmm...this assumes I know how to log into my Gmail account WG2 :) 

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Yes, The Boss does not know how to use e-mail. Or Power Point. Or Excel. Or how to get her own lunch.