Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Working Girl One Talks About Two. Number Two.

The workplace can be a very awkward. Weird co-workers and uncomfortable situations present themselves almost everyday. For example, today my male boss said, out of nowhere, "I have a lot of gas." Uh, thanks for sharing. He was kidding and while my co-workers and I were aware of this, one of our poor little interns is now completely creeped out by him. I'm only slightly creeped out by him. 

That brings me to the topic of today's post: the bathroom. Also known as the the most awkward part of the workplace. It starts with the door. I always seems to walk in at the same time someone is walking out or vice versa. I open then door and do that awkward dance "go right, go left, stop, go right again" until I make my way in or out of the bathroom and awkwardly say "sorry" or "excuse me" under my breath. Does this only happen to me? 

Then getting to the stall. First you might run into a coworker. This usually plays out one of two ways. Scenario one: you walk in while your coworker is washing her hands or fixing her hair and she is out of the bathroom before you even lock the stall door. Not awkward. Scenario two: she just walked into the bathroom  and now you are going to use the bathroom at the same time. Awkward. Especially if you have stage fright. 

When picking a stall you may discover that a coworker already in a stall. They might be in your favorite stall and you're stuck with an unfamiliar stall. Or they are next to your favorite stall and the rest of the stalls are vacant. Do you still go to your favorite stall? Is that too close to said coworker. Awkward. 

You're in the stall. Okay, this is where we get intimate Working Girls. I'm just going to get right into because we've all had to deal with it. Number two at work. Don't tell me this hasn't cause you drama at some point. A friend of mine once confessed that for the first few weeks of her job she had some "issues" going. And let's just say taqueria week in the cafeteria wasn't very good to me. I've even overheard it in my office bathroom. I don't know what is more awkward, going number two at work or hearing someone else go. Thoughts? 

When you're done with your business and move to the sink to wash your hands. But how long do you wash for? Is anyone else in the bathroom paying attention to how long you're washing your hands for? One thing is for sure, they'll noticed if you don't wash your hands.

And you're out. Until next time. Which, for me, is usually twenty minutes later. I'm convinced I have an overactive bladder and that the entire office is aware of it. Awkward. 

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