The Hills: "Whitney, Can You Come Up?"

(Writer's Note: I realize this post is a few days late but the past few days, I've actually been social rather than watching other people be social on TV.)

Another Monday, another The Hills.

Stephanie and Lauren, do they actually go to FIDM? My guess is, No.

All the restaurants in L.A. look the same to me. Doug ("Lauren's Friend") and Lauren are on a lunch date at Creperie where Doug tries to get her to skip out on work and go to the beach. Three seasons ago, Lauren probably would have ditched work for a boy. I think she's learned her lesson.

At Epic Records Chiara and Audrina almost convince me that are employed. I like Chiara. She's much better than chick Heidi "works" with.

Kelly Cutrone is baaack and she's brought her New York crew with her. While I think Kelly is great, she makes me want to crawl in a closet and hide. Whitney is invited to go out to dinner with Kelly and crew. She's nervous because she's a newbie but if I know anything about Whitney, I know she's going to rock it.

Speidi. Ew. Out to dinner. I do have to give props to Heidi for seemly nicely suggesting that they make an appearance at the Stephanie's party because, after all, she is Spencer's brother. On another note, why does Spencer continue to call Lauren, LC? That's so Laguna Beach.


Whitney's work dinner is held at Simon Restaurant and the red wine is flowing. Whitney, let me tell you, from experience, say no to the red wine. Oh look at her, she's drinking water. I'm so proud. Jessica, the L.A. publicist always looks pissed. Probably because she's bad at her job and people are starting to notice. It's all over when she starts crossing Kelly about working with stylists. "It's my company" - Kelly Cutrone. You better watch out, Jessica.

I'm drained my Stephanie's birthday party. Lo is as fake as Stephanie's tan and it's only a few moments before Audrina shows up and doesn't talk to anyone and a few more until Speidi crashes the party. Yes, Brody!

Lo and Audria: AWKWARD!
Specner and Heidi: ANNOYING!
Everyone leaving because Speidi is there: SO HIGH SCHOOL.

"Seriously, let's go" - Lo

Kelly Cutrone is yelling at her assistant on the phone. We must be back at Peopel's Revolution. She's telling the assistant to try living her life for one day and see what it's like. Ok, I understand if you're an owner of a place like People's Revolution, you're a busy Working Girl. But, Kelly might be underestimating how much work an assistant actually does. She hangs up the phone and calls for Whitney.

Whitney, where is your notebook? Always bring a notebook. Finally, Kelly fired Jessica. It's about time, Kel. And, drum-roll please, Kelly is offering Whitney Jessica's job. Yes! Bi coastal lifestyle, sounds draining. Kelly's advice: "I wouldn't make any plans for the next couple of months."

Congrats Whitney!

To hold you over till next week, here are my favorite Spencer quotes of the night:

"It's like telling Iran and Israel to get along"
(Because the LC/Spencer feud is as important as the Middle East)
"I cant' make you un-my sister"