Technologically Un-savvy

I repel technology. I have broken numerous digital cameras. I believe I have dropped more than one cell phone in water. My computers die on me all. the. time. It all comes down to technology hating me (because obviously this is the conclusion I've come to and not that I'm clumsy or something).

Just like my personal technology, the technology I work with also hates my guts. The printer loathes me - seriously, it jams almost every time I use it and never when Bill, my tech guy, uses it. Unfair, unfair, unfair. Anyway, my Internet is frequently testy (as in I get signed off of Gchat too often daily).

During my second month at my new job, my Internet just stopped working. My e-mails got stuff in my "drafts" folder, my Gmail couldn't connect to the server, and my Internet magically turned off.

So of course I landed on my theory of technology hates me. So I traipsed over to the Tech dungeon and told them of my technology woes (and I probably told them all about how my cell phones just slipped into sink and how my computer from 1999 up and died on me the other day).

My fave tech guy Bill followed me back to my desk and I sat down all flummoxed as to why oh why the Internet wasn't working since our server wasn't down.

Bill took one look at my computer, rolled his eyes and poked his head under my desk.

"WG2," he said in a tone that sounded eerily like my dad's when he is mad at me. "Do you swing or kick your legs under your desk?"

Turns out I had kicked some wires free underneath my desk. And now whenever I ask Bill to do anything tech-related, he makes me check all the wires near or around my desk/computer/printer to make sure I haven't repelled aka kicked the technology out of the wall.