My Quarter Life Crisis

Since I was ten all I wanted in life was to be a writer. I even wrote a series about the Que's - a family of ten girls, and while the premise of the stories were pretty lame (I even drew pictures of the girls which were all sorts of hideous), I was sure that I was destined to be the next Ann M. Martin or Francine Pascal.

In high school, I went to numerous writing workshops and camps where most of the girls wrote about darkness, wore lots of black, and brooded over cups of black coffee (which I only mention right now because I am being so emo right now wearing almost all black, a t-shirt covered in French poetry, and listening to soundtrack music - oh the irony).

In college, I majored in English and journalism, had two internships at magazines in New York City, took creative writing courses, and was the News Editor of the college newspaper.

I apologize for the rambling resume above, but I just wanted to illustrate that I had plans. I had plans since I was ten years old to be a writer, an editor, to be like my mother who was also an editor. Everything I did was leading to this one goal. Working my ass off to get into AP English, making my own magazines to send to my pen pal when I was a little girl, missing Thirsty Tuesdays in college because I was editing the school newspaper. Starting this blog...

Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly introspective, I wonder how I ended up here with this career because if you had asked me as a teenager if I thought I would have had a job in marketing/corporate event planning and I would live in Chicago, I would have laughed. In high school, I thought I would go to college in Scotland, move to London, and work at Marie Claire UK. No joke, I think I put those exact words in a time capsule as a senior in high school.

My point being is that things change. Plans change. Things don't always work out the way we think they will. And not only that, but dreams change. My dream forever was to be a writer, and now I'm not so sure that I want that anymore. I couldn't be more surprised, but I really do enjoy planning events and meetings and parties and if that is what I did for the rest of my life, I would be thrilled.

Which brings me to this blog. I'm sure you have noticed that I've taken a quite long hiatus from writing. And really I think it's because I was have a crisis about my life, writing, my future, and it seemed wrong that I should write a blog about giving work advice when I didn't even have anything figured out myself. I've always wrote here that I want to be a writer, that I hated my job because I should be writing all day, that I wanted to go back and get my master's in journalism. I even tried freelancing for a little and I just sucked at it because, man oh man, is freelancing hard with a capital H. And I felt like a hypocrite saying things like, 'I'm following my dream' when really in my head I was thinking that my dream might not be my dream anymore.

I guess what it came down to was that I felt guilty that I wasn't doing what I had set out to do at that young age and not only that I was mad that I spent all that energy and time in high school and college devoted to building a portfolio for career that I don't even have now. Oh, and I turned 25 which obviously means I have to look at my life and go, 'Crap! What am I doing?'.

What it comes down to is that while yes, I wanted to be a writer, I'm not sure that's where I am headed anymore. But just because I don't have it all figured out doesn't mean I can't give good advice or commentary on being a 20-something in the work force. In fact, I'm pretty sure almost all of us are in the same boat. So why not commiserate together?

Which really brings me to my point. I'm back to blogging but not for any end goal. I'm not going to view this blog as a way to get a writing job or to get discovered. I'm going to be writing for fun and for myself with my four fabulous contributors.