Reunion Jitters

Next month is my high school's 10 year reunion, and for some reason it's really starting to freak me out. Blech, I feel old! An ironic post too given the last one is all about graduation, very nostalgic.

In high school, I was a pretty cool girl (at least in my head). I had a lot of friends and I like to think the popular kids found me tolerable. I was in band (not pep band, that's a totally different world) as a third chair clarinet, and one year my name actually managed to find itself listed as a runner-up for Homecoming queen. I ran track and cross country, I was no star, just average, and I was on the Yearbook staff as Sports Editor. Man, I hate sports, who knows how I ever got that role. And like every other girl, I lived for the dances. My baby sister's prom is actually tonight, aw so cute.

Anyway, so what am I afraid of? Who am I afraid of seeing? I don't know, I just think it will all be very awkward, that's all. Awkward because I haven't kept in touch with anyone (except for my best friend, we're going together btw, thank goodness for her). Awkward because I feel like the small town I grew up in isn't "home" anymore since I haven't been back in years and since my family moved away after I left for college. Awkward because I think most of my classmates stayed put, and according to Facebook it looks like many actually married each other. Can we say insta-clique?

And speaking of Facebook, a lot of us have reconnected over the years. Yet, we don't do anything beyond friending each other. So technically, I don't think Facebook counts when it comes to "staying in touch" ... hm, unless you count Facebook stalking? So I don't keep in touch with anyone, yet thanks to Facebook I still know how many kids people have, where they went to college, what they had for breakfast, how they feel about the weather, oh and I've even seen all the pics from their last vacation and probably left a cute comment in there somewhere, etc. All that personal stuff! AHH! Yet when we see each other next month, I'm betting it'll still feel like 10 years are between us. So awkward! See why I'm freaking out?

OR, what if I get there and me and an old classmate start talking and everything. And what if what I remember about her isn't what she remembers about me? Like, I remember something good (i.e. that we were friends) and she remembers something bad (i.e. that one time I made her mad and she ended up hating me forever and I never knew about it)? Ugh, the horrors.

And what exactly am I supposed to wear to the reunion? On TV, it's always the picture of, "Oh, I have to look super sexy and have really white teeth and nicely-toned arms so that guy I had a crush for three whole years will regret he never hooked up with me." I guess the good news is that I don't have any kids, so I don't have any baby fat to worry about losing in four weeks ...

Also causing me jitters is the inevitable, "So what have you been up to these past 10 years?" question. I've been thinking a lot about this. So, what have I done? Did I accomplish all I've wanted to do? Did I land in the career I've always wanted? Do I have any regrets? Am I a better person? Have I changed the world yet??

If you've been to your high school reunion or have one coming up as well, I'd love your empathy and advice. Everyone else, please, just tell me it will all be OK!